like it was yesterday...?

facebook is a funny thing.

For those of us of a “certain age”, its not so much funny haha as it is

funny…oh dear…

Pictures from high school re-emerge in your very-right-now life. Unfortunate haircuts, poor clothing choices, sad decisions and those who were right there with you. I mean, I was in high school 28 years ago.

These days I work with High School students. Its different than when I was a senior in 1980. I started cheering at 9 years old and didn’t stop until I had to. It was my passion, a chance to scream and yell and jump for the greater good. I loved it. The cast of GLEE pretty much made up my lunch table and I had 2 serious boyfriends in my 4 years at MHS. If I stayed after school, it was because I was painting Panther signs for the halls. You could have called me Straight Edge, but back then, Straight Edge was just the side of a ruler. I was a well known kid but not exactly popular. The not-so big-secret is that I feel as though I’ve gone my whole life as a big ‘ol dork. Now I just dress better.

SO…today on facebook, a picture came up…it a candid shot taken of the “Smoking Pit” outside the lunchroom doors at my high school 28 years ago. An old classmate posted the picture, he was there. I was not. I recognized a few of the people and was happy to see them, I read through all the comments and got all the jokes, but I was nervous about posting a comment. This wasn’t my crowd then. The inner dork still rages.

Then I saw the picture again.

It was another old classmates profile, he had re posted it and started a new thread of conversation -saying how he hadn’t been out to the pit much, making a reference to the show Freaks and Geeks (google it - its SO worth it), and then followed by various posts of injury, resentment and bitterness. I recognized those feelings in me too and it made me sad.

Both of these men are friends of mine now. True, they are “facebook Friends”, but to me those are friends all the same. There seemed to be two different stories for the same picture…those who were there and those, like me, who definitely weren’t. I wanted to respond in a way that honored the nostalgic feelings of both men while expressing my own. My truth was this;

I never got out there…on nice days, half of me was scared and the other envious.
“They get to be outside”…it never occurred to me that I could just go out to enjoy the weather.

: l

I remember the scared feeling…they seemed so cool, but the activity was something i had been told was wrong and worse, dangerous and unbecoming.

For me high school was all about becoming.

I loved high school. Some may have seen me as dorky, some as blessed, some as blissfully ignorant. What I know now is, for the most part, I was really happy. I can’t imagine being in high school now. In teen fantasy shows (Hello Degrassi), everyone has issues but they are really, really pretty. In real life, things happen that are so shocking that schools should have the parental advisory warning printed a big sign out front.

Mature Audience Only
This school is designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17. This school program contains one or more of the following: graphic violence (V), explicit sexual activity (S), or crude indecent language (L).

I see what’s happening in our local high school and think, “I’d get ignored as a high school student today.” I listen to students and and know in my heart that the things they fight for mean everything to them. This is their life right now. The kids that hover below the surface and above the fray feel invisible. The squeaky wheels seem to rule, but at a huge cost.

What will their pictures say 30 years from now? What will they become? Are they taking the time to go out and enjoy the weather? Am I providing relevant leadership to kids who float between raising a ruckus and merely raising an eyebrow?

Or am I just dressing better and hoping for the best?

My prayer is that recognizing the shift at all is half the battle. Providing a place where kids can be themselves and leave the drama of high school behind, even if just for a night or two, is the least I can do. Beyond that, I can care for them unconditionally, guide them with a heart that screams for them and their lives, and show them a life that has a love at the center that makes all the drama seem small in comparison. If that’s dorky, than I’m good with being the biggest dork of all.

Rage on.