Who

There are two dogs in our family Asti and Spumante, Mante for short.

Asti is a beautiful golden mutt with the sweetest dispositon. She also doesn’t believe she is a dog. She is a princess in a dog suit and that has always been fine with us. Mante is a cute Shih tzu who knows just how cute she is and won’t let you forget it. thankyouverymuch.

So…yesterday our Asti died. She was a special dog, I’ll miss her alot. Losing her was devastating, but not for the reasons you may expect.

Watching my daughters and my husband grieve is possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never seen my oldest daughter this upset and I’ve only seen my husband this distraught once before, when we lost the first pet we shared together. Still, at the animal hospital yesterday I was able to hold my daughters while they sobbed, embrace my husband while he struggled to hold it together. I even patted the Vet’s shoulder and acknowledged that this has to be the worst part of her best days at her job. Because that’s my job…I’m a Mom.

I recently read that, “When you become a Mother you are no longer the picture but the frame.” - Those are daunting words in times of grief or despair. I love celebrating my family, their joys are my joys, my heart swells with pride at their accomplishments. I can push them forward to be celebrated too. Put them in the path of pain, however, and I will fiercely fight to protect and shield them. Because that’s my job…I’m a Mom.

So yesterday when my family was feeling SO. MUCH. PAIN. I went into comfort mode. Anything they needed was theirs; boyfriend, bad tv, junk food, a nap, more junk food, more bad tv. I was there to provide and I did.

Then it hit me…our dog died. I was sad and wanted comfort. My mom lives hours away in Maine. Short of calling and talking to her (which I did until my family pulled up in the car after me), what would I do? Who’s job is it to comfort Mom?

Now I know why we celebrate Father’s Day.

See, my father and I are estranged. We don’t speak for very good reasons. It’s healthier that way. I’ve been blessed with a step dad and a father in law who bless me beyond imagination, but aren’t necessarily the cuddly, talky type I need when I’m in pain. My husband had his own pain - I was not his job.

Thankfully, yesterday I was able to lean into the everlasting arms of the Father to us all. The Father who has taught me the most about care, compassion and healing. The one who is always there when we ask and never looks away.

All we have to do is ask. So I prayed

Then I did what all the cool kids do when they are in pain.

I went on Facebook and changed my status.

our beloved Asti…such a great companion and snuggler…we’ll miss her.

Within minutes I heard from my youth group kids. Leaders came to my house with hugs and tears. One girl told me if I wanted to talk she was available and going through the same thing with her dog…

He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

Today I am celebrating. Maybe not as joyously as Father’s Days in the past, but I am reassured that there is a Father that loves me, cares for me and sends angels in all kinds of disguises to carry out that care and love right here in the middle of a crazy, scary and sometimes painful world.

I’m celebrating Fathers who hear Him with me and guide their families to church, who love their children safely and with great faith. Who love their wives with honor and just a bit of wonder so their sons will love their wives the same way.

If we are treated well, given a helping hand and encouraging word, that also works to your benefit, spurring you on, face forward, unflinching.

I feel as if I may have been tested yesterday, God and I have been through many good times together. We celebrate ALOT! Yesterday was difficult and it would’ve been easier to ask company to come another day and leave us to our grieveing, but I know He says,

“your hard times are also our hard times. When we see that you’re just as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we know you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.”

I may be the Mom, and I love my job but I can’t tell you how comforting it is each time I remember I’m not alone! Good times, bad times. Joys and times of comfort. Now matter how Super Mom I get…I can always go to the Father who promises to sustain me and taught me how to care for others, so they can go care too.

My daughter put a post on her blog yesterday about Asti…this is what it said;

We all know you are in a place where you will be able to eat as (many) flying hamburgers as you want and you’ll be able to play fetch with someone that will never get tired

and He loves you a much as I do.

Happy Father’s Day to my Father

and all God’s children said Amen.